Rejection Stings: Here's The Real Reason

Let’s talk about rejection. Does the fear of being rejected ever hold you back from messaging a guy you’re interested in, or from going on dates altogether?

Maybe at a social event, you find yourself not approaching someone you like. If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone—I’ve been there too.

It’s a common feeling, and often, the fear of rejection can be stronger than the desire for a relationship, keeping you stuck.

So, why is rejection so tough to deal with?

It feels personal—like a direct hit to our sense of worth. We all have insecurities, and rejection taps into them, making us think we’re being turned down because of who we are.

For example, if you’re insecure about your looks, your mind might interpret rejection as confirmation of your worst fears: “Of course he rejected me; I don’t look good enough.”

But is that really true? Let’s unpack this for a minute…

Everyone has their own baggage, preferences, and stories that shape their decisions.

I’ve been rejected before because of my age, and that guy, let’s call him Guy X, made me wonder if there was something wrong with me.

But then, Guy Y told me he found my age attractive. Hmmm…. So was it about my age, or just Guy X’s preference?

The point is, people reject others for all sorts of reasons that have nothing to do with our worth.

It could be their unresolved issues, past experiences, or simply that you don’t fit the narrow idea of the partner they’re envisioning.

The key is to remember: it’s not about you. It’s a reflection of their perspective, and that rejection has everything to do with them—not your value.

When you disconnect your self-worth from someone else’s decision, you free yourself from the pain and anxiety that rejection brings.

And that’s not the only mindset shift I found myself going through. Nothing beats putting a positive spin on things:

I learned to look at rejection as just part of the dating process. It is something that occurs and is there to help you figure out who isn’t the right fit for you:

Think of it like trying on clothes—not every outfit is going to look good. It doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with that shirt or with you… It just means that particular shirt wasn’t the right fit. And a few shirts later - you’ll find the one that fits nicely.

So, next time you face rejection, remember this: it doesn’t diminish your worth. Don’t let the fear of rejection hold you back, because finding the love of your life is worth the journey - bumps and all.

Take care,

Daniel